Whisper to a Scream

It's the 4th today.. the midnight of my second paper. I've been having hard times with Accounting throughout the whole semester and when I've finally gotten it partly in my hand, but things keep stopping me to do so.

After 'it' had happened, I've been so messed up. I haven't been myself lately. I am currently emotionally unstable. I remember what Madam Mazlina has said before, that "You need to be physically and emotionally stable to be prepared". She is definitely right. However, I'm finding it hard to be emotionally stable for the time being. I don't know why it gives such an effect to me, I swear I don't even know why. It just does.

Seeing my close college mate having a hard time too, sucks. I, somehow need to be strong for her as her situation is much harder than where I am in now. With her leaving me for the upcoming semester, with her complications with the beloved, ain't giving the both of us any benefits. Instead, our minds are simply messed up. And the timing couldn't get any better.. during finals jugak la semua benda ni nak jadi. Haih. I really need to go home at the moment. As Naz would say, "I need my relaxation. I need to go home". I need that too.

Btw, by you keep coming back, and not giving me any space isnt helping me out. You are making things hard, 'sweetie'. Hah. Seriously, what the fuck do you want from me? MAKE UP YOUR MIND FOR GOD SAKE. Because, there's a big chance that I'm leaving..

I might need to leave though I don't want to.




Okay, scratch everything. Insert all the numbers and the accounting terms back in my mind. I need to bloody focus! Please, don't make this hard for me.