Whisper to a Scream

the title says it all. though i can only see it, am cool with that cause tomorrow, dum dum dummm, it will be THE DAY! the day of my last day of spm. hell yeah bitch! :D

this morning, i woke up with nerve-racking feeling. felt so unready for econs. felt like there wasnt enough stuff about econs in my little brain. even though i had studied the night before, it wasnt good enough! so, tried to cover the whole thing before the paper starts. i tried so hard putting everything in my mind, but everything was just too much. i couldnt handled it anymore. yet, i did not give up. i just couldnt. this is the subject that i just couldnt give up on. if i had given up, it would be such a waste of taking it as an extra subject, wouldnt it?

so, i kept on trying and trying. after memorizing some stuff, trying to recall what ive learnt so far, thought of giving myself a test by asking kakak to ask me some questions, asked me based on the ramalan questions that cikgu ishak had given me. after question by question, i felt so stupid. i felt so dumb. i felt like i was going to fail this subject. none of my answers were perfectly correct. argh! i was so stressed. never felt so stressed before. (okay, tipu la. the first and the last time masa tu pun, pasal econs nye trials. haisho)

still, i didnt give up. i kept on trying. determined to memorize all of the econs formulas and so i did. for a while, at least haihh. kakak asked me again and again, repeated the same bloody questions, still i couldnt answer correctly. that was it. i couldnt take it anymore. stress was eating me up. i felt like crying while hiding my face behind my pillow from kakak. kakak knew i was so stressed about it and asked me to bath so i would feel better. and so, i did. msk2 je, boom! well, lets just say the shower water wasnt the only thing that was flowing, heh.

i felt better after mandi smua, wee. anyway, moving on, i tried to study balik but ms cheong came over to pass over mine and kakak's baju for the wedding. so, tried it on smua and bang, dah pukul 1 lebih. got ready in my school uniform, ate nasi ayam that mama bought with kakak and vroom, i was on the way to school. on the way tu, revised some stuff and dah sampai. by 2pm, the paper has started. yaiks!

after ekonomi asas paper 2 was over, i felt better than this morning. wayyyy better, phew. it wasnt like what i expected, and thank God it wasnt like what ive expected. hm, enough said :) just thankful that that paper is over now, alhamdulillah syukur nikmat >:)

though i told kakak and mama i would be finishing my paper by 4pm, i balik pkl 440 kot? cis! but nah, it cool, cause i had the chance to chat with el bebeh! best best best, rindu you sial! :D teringat masa zaman kita kanak-kanak dowh (masa form 2 actually -.-), hee. our 'bus life' lah kiranyaa. damn that was chun <3 haih, those days, i miss. we should catch up more babe!


Silly, this story is old. only to those who have no mold.
the truth can be bought or sold, but what are we buying?
nothing but silence.