on the 10th of February, AB made plans with me to meet up for the first time. well, it was not exactly our first time. we've bumped into each other a few times actually but let's just say it was supposed to be just the two of us, but in the end, I asked some of my dudes who are friends with him to tag along. his friends wanted to go out with him that night as well, and so he brought his friends to Hartamas since he planned to meet me there. thank God he wasn't the kind that would ditch me over some last minute plans with his friends cause he was practically hanging out at our table the whole time till we got back. oh by the way, I was with Fahim and Harris. Tot joined us last minute and so did Syark, Dayla, Fahim's gf and friend. anyhow, it was REALLY nice to get the chance to hang with him and my god was he attractive! very friendly, down to earth kind of person, tough enough to do many piercings, concerns about other people, very open minded, straight forward in a good way and most importantly, treats me really good <3
though it's too early to even feel anything, I guess the feeling to get to know him better is all over me. I can't say I don't want him, cause oh that would be a lie.
but hold up, here's the thing.. AB is a friend of B, a good friend of E and friends with G, L and others. I don't like being in the circle as I know there's history in the circle, gah! and oh yeah, knowing that AB isn't exactly available, sucks. knowing that that we haven't been talking for days, sucks even more! :(
I remember way back when, when I wanted you to be mine and now that I wonder was it all a waste of time and did it. Make sense jumping into something knowing that I'd get hurt. All my friends told me to look out, cause you were treating me like shit. I swallowed my pride and bit my tongue and tried to just deal with it. I blame the whatevership's termination on why things were never fine. I dreaded this moment from the day that we met, we have to say goodbye. Now all I do is wanting to have a puff with all my friends. I regret not moving on even though I said I did, yeah blah blah. as the days go on I'll find someone better. I'll go through it alone and brave the cold weather, through the blizzard like conditions screaming if I'm still alive. I think I really need to say my last goodbye.