Sick

Saturday, December 29, 2007 at 4:09 AM | Posted by Let the Words Escape
I'm sick of this, sick of having friends that keep disappointing me in the end. sick of putting my trust in him/them. sick of making sure that things won't go awkward. sick of making plans so we could hang. sick of trying hard to be closer. sick of being cancelled last minute. sick of proving him/them that am just good enough as his/their other hot friends. sick of being oh so nice to him/them. sick of feeling uncool around him/them. sick of being treated like a dude. sick of trying hard to impress his/their friends so that they could accept me. sick of being insecure around him/them. sick of bitching about his/their girl friends who are younger. sick of seeing them acting close even though they're not. sick of feeling shitty when the past between him/them comes back. sick of those crowd around them looking at me as a freak. sick of for even bother to get to know his/their friends. sick of putting him/them as one my loved ones. sick of thinking that he/they can be different. sick of imagining that he/they would lead me to another world. sick of putting a smile upon my face to make him/them happy. sick of laughing at his/their lame jokes. sick of appreciating our friendship. sick of cherishing the memories we had. sick of loving him/them. am just sick of feeling sick all the bloody time!

enough is enough!

yet, I'd blame myself for losing what we have right now. don't you dare leave my side, cause I think am beginning to love you. to tell you the truth, I might just love one of you, not both. (that explains the single-his, and plural-them). I just don't know. My mind is a messed up place.

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