Whisper to a Scream

It's been too long since I've last updated, too long. I'd be lying if I say I've been busy cause I barely have assignments and I go back home practically every week. When I'm stuck in college, I do not have the mood to blog (who would if you gotta do it in the cc) and been telling myself to do it during the weekends. Uh huh, sure, I so did that. Though I'm back at home during the weekends, I'm never at home as my Mom would say. So, that explains the silence from this blog I guess. I know no one reads it, but it feels good talking to yourself at times, like right this second. So anyway, lots of things have happened in the past four months. Joyful times, bitter moments, all in one. No doubt that I won't be sharing all of them, but I may highlight on a few incidents.

In the first month of this year, I've been in a different environment for my studies. I've changed from Pahang campus to Malacca. Without thinking about the effects of not telling several friends, I had some difficulties explaining to them that it was a last minute news. Due to that, I'd like to apologize to those who found out later than they should and even for those whom I still haven't told. Surprised that love of mine, Aishah with my presence in the same campus as hers. She was definitely shocked. Yeay, thanks Aznam and Katin. The first few weeks were tough as I was labelled the new kid in college though I'm already a part two senior. However, I'm thankful that I was assigned to be in a room with people that I could get along with. A senior named Kay, another two who are in the same semester as I am, Xera and Zylla are their names. Kay and I didn't have a good start as no words were exchanged between us for the first few weeks. Later, it came to her senses that she was being a bitch to me and began to have conversations with me. Besides that, new set of classmates are opposite from the old one. Though most of them are from the same state as mine, they don't act like one where as the old classmates who were from different states were much better in many ways. But there was nothing I could do except for adapting myself together with my friend, Naz. Somewhere at the end of this month, mid term break arrived and we were off to home for a week plus. And oh, did I mention that Ive cut my hair short?


One month passed. February was up next. In this month, my all-time favourite girls have decided to go for a picnic in Janda Baik and so, I've agreed on following. The Subang boys followed us as well. Breath taking view of the river and the hills behind of Layla's grand aunty was just amazing. It was definitely a relaxing moment for everyone to simply rest and enjoy the nature there. Mid term break was over and all UiTM-ers were back in their campuses. My relationship between my roommates and a couple of my block mates have grown closer. We even decided to go to the town to kill our night time. It was the beginning where Ive started driving again too. I also took the opportunity of being in the same campus with one of my best friends, to throw a surprise birthday celebration for her. Ive gathered two rows of eggs, a bag of coffee, a packet of flour, water balloons and most importantly; her close mates in college to make it successful. What's a birthday without a birthday cake ey? So, of course I did not forget the cake and even snacks for them to consume after the surprise. It wasn't how I expected it to be as it became so chaotic, but it was even better! I really hope that she loved it. Did you, Aishah? A few days after that, it was a starting point of something new too. I was flattered but confused at the same time. I kept telling myself to just go with the flow, and so I did. Did I mention that I lost quite a number of money this month? Hm well, yeah I did. I guess I was too careless. On this one particular day, Ive done something that I regret on doing it. I was upset with myself, sigh. Yet, I put that aside and continued living like I normally do.


Time flew faster than I thought it would be. March arrived and all I could say that, I was a happy person. Besides the quarrel between two different groups of friends, everything else felt so good. I had someone to share my feelings, stories and to love, true friends that are always there for me, parents that have been so patient with my attitude yet still support me in any way, so what else could I ask for more? This month, Malaysians had the chance of seeing Jason Mraz live and I was one of those lucky ones that was able to see him with my own bare eyes. I wasn't alone though, Aishah and Dinie were with me too. From Malacca to Negeri Sembilan to the venue of the concert, Kuala Lumpur then same route for the next day. Long trip? definitely but it was all worth it. Somewhere along the way, I felt like I was losing someone that Ive always had ever since Ive gained that certain someone. So, I got all confused again as issues started to come into the picture. However, he managed to gain my trust back and I was a smiling person again. Other than that, Ive gone to Genting with my girlfriends to be like kids all over again. One of them said that we were too old for Genting, but the others disagreed strongly. We're never too old for theme parks baby. We had a blast at the end of the day, just the five of us.

FThe same night after the Genting trip, someone threw the best party ever I must say *cough cough. Good job, mate! Haha, sense the sarcasm? I still had fun dude, it's true. Furthermore, I had the time to meet up with my close friend, Lynn who had came back to Malaysia for just a couple of days. I was definitely excited when I heard about it and actually came down to Pj just to meet her for a night, then went back to college in less than twenty four hours.


However, you can never always be happy. It's true when they say all good things will come to an end. All I need is just an answer, so why can't you even give me that? Thanks to you, I'm feeling miserable all over again. Please stop doing this, please.